Time

Sophia has been sick this week. Monday it was all over the cereal aisle in Walmart. Tuesday no throw up but other issues. Wednesday I caught it in the throw up bowl. Thursday I wasn't so lucky and it ended up all over her and her car seat. It's Saturday night and we're getting pretty good at the bowl but poor little thing only wants her mommy. And mommy has a lot of other kids, a niece, a mother-in-law, a husband and an unfinished master bedroom redo to take care of! Tonight as she struggled to get to sleep I became impatient. I just wanted a minute to myself and I clearly wasn't going to get it. After putting her back in bed numerous times and laying by her for a while, I gave up trying to do my own thing and just sat on the floor by the side of her bed holding her hand. Thinking. It took a while to turn my thoughts from the "what I wish I were doing" to the more philosophical "where else would I rather be". As I held her tiny hand, I knew she was just happy to have me there to comfort her. Was what I wanted to do more important than her tonight? No. Do I know mothers who would give anything just to have their baby's hand to hold again? Yes. Did these thoughts change my attitude toward sitting there? Absolutely. So I sat there holding her hand until she fell asleep and enjoyed EVERY moment of it. I thought about how many things take up my time that aren't priorities. Projects and commitments that take my time away from my little ones and big ones. Do I need to do them? Sometimes. Do I want to do them? Sometimes? Can I do them? Sometimes. As long as I remember that my priority is my family*. There is a finite amount of time in this phase of my life where my family does need so much of my attention. This phase will be over before I know it and I will have time to do more of the things that I want to do. For now, I will fit in what I can, keeping in mind that if I say yes, it needs to be because it's what is best for my family. *My definition of family is broad including but not limited to my nieces and nephews, siblings, in-laws, and occasionally friends.