My Uncle Mitch calls them sleep overs because you have to do the sleeping part "over" the next day. But what if the kid is too stubborn to take a nap and just gets more and more cantankerous as the day goes on? Should I outlaw sleepovers all together? I am seriously thinking about it. Especially after Kassie's outburst the other day after a sleepover. In front of BOTH our moms. Can you say embarrassing? So here is my top ten list of reasons to ban them:
1. Kids are too tired to be nice and reasonable the next day.
2. Often there are mean pranks played on the kids at the sleepover.
3. When the kids are older, they play pranks on people not at the sleepover.
4. You learn things from the kids at sleepovers that you should be learning from your parents.
5. Being at a sleepover puts you in an extreme environment of peer pressure.
6. I have to ask some tough questions of the parents whose house the kids are going to, which can come off as slightly offensive if I am not good friends with the parents.
7. The next day the kids come home too late to be part of the morning routine and they don't want to do chores or anything.
8. I worry about how my child acts at the other persons house or what they tell the other parents about me (true or not true).
9. If kids sleep over at my house, I have to actually get out of bed in the morning and supervise.
10. It would be easier to ban them all together than judge on a case by case basis whether it's a good night or a good friend for a sleepover.
I'm not saying they are evil, just that most of the time they are more work than they are worth - for the parent. I remember sleepovers as a child, most are good memories but many I feel guilty about or grossed out by. Maybe a late over would be good enough. Do you think it would make my kids social outcasts if they were the ONLY kids not allowed to have sleepovers? Do I care if they are social outcasts? Dan is totally for them so obviously we will have to compromise. But what do YOU think?
"And remember, it's for posterity so be honest." ~ Six-fingered man in Princess Bride
7 comments:
I agree with banning them all together. We have had some experiences that I felt was very inappropriate and required some long talks with my boy involved. However, my thoughts about banning them all together was solidified during Conference. I can't remember who it was but the apostle speaking suggested not having them because they can lead to so many bad things. I am guilty of letting CJ have them, but they will be fading in the near future. Gosh, this was long wasn't it? (Sorry)
okay,...just to clerify....CJ wasn't the problem, I had to explain some stuff that HE experienced or heard. :)
We hate them, too. So much. We are in the midst of one right now. There is just something awesome about a pre-teen with attitude who is over-tired and grumpy from staying up till heaven only knows what time they stop chit-chatting about the cute boys in their class, or what that one rude girl did to that other girl...and why is it they always want to wake up at 5:45 and watch TV, when we normally have to drag them out of bed at 7:30 so they won't be late for school?
I am actually dreading them. I am sure that someday I will be paying for my sleep-over nightmares in therapy, and I just don't know that I want to subject my kids to that. You are so right about mean things happening at sleepovers- or mean things happening to those that aren't invited to the sleepover.
I'm thinking about making a rule that sleepovers can only involve family (namely cousins). Everyone else can stay late but has to go home at curfew.
You'll have to exvuse my typing vause one of my keys on the keyboard is broken. It's the one that vomes after "a,b,then ___(insert letter)". So instead I'll substitute with a "v!" You'll barely notive! Sleepovers are an essential part of growing up for a girl, so you van't totally ban them. We never did anything offensive or mean at our sleepovers, but you're right from a parents perspevtive that the kid is too tired to do anything the next day. What if you only allowed them for birthday parties (either your vhild or the others) or only if said vhild agrees to vomplete all vhores the next day AND agrees to a nap. (And only if there is nothing going on the next day, or is that possible in your family?) Or does that seem like too many vonditions? If they don't follow through, then no sleepovers (ever or for an extended period of time) You might need to have a sleepover vontravt, signed and dated! Does that just make it too vomplivated? If it does, then just be that mean mom who doesn't let their kids sleep over and has sovially awkward kids!! (I'm only half joking!)
You know, my friend across the street doesn't allow sleepovers. When she told me about it quite some time ago, I thought it was just them being overprotective and controlling. But then I watched conference and heard the talk mentioned previously. Immediately, the thought came to me that even the most respected people have secrets. I don't want my son to be in a home with people he trusts (because if we're allowing him to stay there, we would certainly trust them) and then be faced with difficult choices, or even worse, taken advantage of by an adult or older sibling after everyone else has gone to sleep.
I have heard of "late-overs" which I think is a perfect solution. Friends can come over (even in pj's)and do all the fun activities you do at a sleepover, but kids are sent home at an appropriate time to bed. I mean, really, why does a child need to sleep at their friend's house?
I don't know what I am going to do about that when the girls get a little bigger. I had a REALLY bad experience when I was in 6th grade and hosting a sleep over - my "friends" were talking badly about me because they thought I was asleep but I wasn't...it basically scarred me for life! After that I just had one friend sleep over instead of a few. It's hard...good luck with that! ;)
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